So, this weekend was rough. Really rough. I don’t even know why, but I was just really down and upset. So I did what I always do when I get in a mood: I started to write. It helps to write. We’re not meant to hold things in. We have to let them out somehow, and even if I don’t want to talk to anyone about it, I can always write it. So I did. And this is what I came up with. It’s the longest poem I’ve ever written in my life, and I’m pretty proud of my new masterpiece. It starts out a little dark and depressing, because I write what I feel, but it gets better as I do. Enjoy.
Lost, angry, hurt, and confused,
I’ve become the girl with nothing to lose.
Depressed, upset, afraid, and alone,
I’m suddenly solo, all on my own.
I don’t know where to go from here;
Sometimes I want to disappear.
I’m so tired of feeling this way;
This restless heart is killing me.
I’m standing alone at the edge of a cliff;
Somebody help me before I fall in.
I’m slowly losing all control;
Somebody help me before I let go.
Desperately tired and scared of it all,
I feel I’m slowly starting to fall.
I’m all alone in this dark, cruel place;
When did I fall so far from grace?
Back to the way it was before,
I’m slowly sliding back to the war,
The battle raging inside my head,
And this time I’m afraid I’ll end up dead.
I’m frightened of going back to the same;
I swore I’d never go there again.
I left that place never to return,
And yet here I am, about to get burned.
I need His help, I need Him here;
No one else cares if I disappear.
He’s the only One Who can help me,
The Man Who died to set me free.
I’ve run from Him, but still He stands,
Waiting for me with His scarred, loving hands
Open wide, for if I’m willing to come,
He’s willing and able to take me home.
He’s the only thing between me and the edge;
He’s holding me up, keeping me on my ledge.
He knows I’m about to lose it all,
But He loves me too much to let me fall.
He says to me, “Child, why are you here?
Why did you run? I wanted you near.
Why are you standing all on your own?
I never intended you to be alone.
“I know what goes on up there in your mind,
I know you’re confused, and I’ve seen how you’ve cried.
I hold every tear that you’ve cried in My hand,
And I know that, without Me, you can’t even stand.
“But, My girl, remember: I won’t let you break;
I’ve carefully guided each step that you take.
I know you feel that you’ve seen too much rain,
But I promise there’s a reason for all this pain.
“It breaks My heart that you ran away,
That you didn’t trust Me to keep you safe.
But remember you’re never too far from grace;
There’s nowhere you can go that I cannot save.
“Come home with Me; walk again at My side;
Remember I’m here, and I’ll be your guide.
I know it hurts and you’re scared of the pain,
But I promise you’ll see the sunshine again.”
He reached, and I took His offered hand;
He pulled me back and helped me stand.
I breathed easier when held in His arms,
Finally knowing I was safe from harm.
Now that I’m home, I forgot why I ran;
I don’t know why I ever let go of His hand.
He found me when I was alone and in pain;
Today I discovered my Jesus again.